You’re willing to put up with all of the bullsh*t if it means getting to be together.
Pfaus says it's because when you're in that "beautiful, magical, post-orgasmic state with someone, your brain releases oxytocin and opioids" (chemicals linked to happiness and romantic love), creating an attachment — which some research has likened to addiction — to the person you've been with.
Defaulting to the pleasure you already know can feel a lot more natural — and less scary — than starting fresh.
When Kiri Blakely first met her ex, "he made me laugh like no other human being." But after a year of witty banter, Blakeley, a writer in her 30s in New York, wanted to get more serious, and Luke (not his real name), a bro bouncing around the city, didn't. and, a few months later, got back together with him. "I would think, Oh, he does want the same things; he knows he made a mistake.
And then broke up with him, took him back, and broke up with him again for the next six years. Then I would get back together with him, and the cycle would happen all over again."They're not the only ones breaking up and making up on a loop. An estimated 44 percent of people ages 17 to 24 have reconciled and started over with an ex, according to a recent study by Bowling Green State University and the University of Wisconsin at Milwaukee.
Yet getting back together after a rough breakup comes with its own group of challenges.
No one in your support group is going to be ecstatic you’ve forgone his or her advice and are taking back a guy he or she watched you cry over. Is he the one for me or am I just terrified of ending up alone? Without further adieu, here are 16 struggles of getting back together with your ex boyfriend: It’s definitely difficult to break this kind of news to every single person you know (and some you’re just barely acquainted with).A strong connection with a romantic partner can be hard to shake because, to a certain extent, it's rooted in our brain chemistry. D., a professor of psychology at Concordia University in Canada, mated female rats with male rats he'd dabbed with a special scent.Later, when he mixed the lady rats with both the familiar-scented males they'd already made sweet rodent love with and new unscented rats, 80 to 100 percent (in different trials) chose their familiar partners over the new dudes.Chronically dating your ex has never been more common, she says — mainly because people are waiting longer to get married, "so we have more time to be in relationships in which we might break up and get back together." Plus, "we have more ambiguity in our relationships today." In the past, you were either dating or broken up.Now, thanks to a culture that's more accepting of casual sex, breaking up is a slippery slope that can lead to ex sex, a friends-with-benefits situation, or a full-on round two in your relationship. Sure, the two of you have made this decision and have concluded that you care more about each other than the past.